"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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