if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
