Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
