no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Randomize
