He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize