I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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