BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
