She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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