I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
