how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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