My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
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