Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
she looked like the before picture.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
