yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
what day is it and did you see me today?
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
