I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
