Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
