Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Randomize
