I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
We need to get me chipped asap
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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