the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
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