I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Success! We fucked roommates!
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
