angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I think I just sharted jello shots
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