i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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