Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
My cat gives me a boner
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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