Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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