oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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