A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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