You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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