he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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