I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
