Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
