his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
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