Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
