i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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