Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
