Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Why is your signature on my underwear?
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize