I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
