If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
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