Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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