Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
