my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
