I am in a vortex of obligation.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
