guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize
