went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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