Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize