He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
