wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.