There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
20 People Confess What It’s Really Like To Live Under Sharia Law
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Randomize
