So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.