that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
