so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries