Texts From Last Night

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  (734): View more from Michigan

  Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.

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  (734): Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle. http://tfl.nu/qw5y
  Replies (4) Good night (1688) Bad night (651)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.

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  (612): On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait. http://tfl.nu/48a7
  Replies (2) Good night (594) Bad night (1773)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.

  (804): View more from Virginia

  He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.

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  (804): omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh. (804): He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis. http://tfl.nu/8njp
  Replies (8) Good night (867) Bad night (2655)
• Favorite

  (218): View more from Minnesota

  it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.

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  (218): it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger. http://tfl.nu/p87j
  Replies (10) Good night (5918) Bad night (1218)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with

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  (541): I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with http://tfl.nu/nhts
  Replies (41) Good night (2062) Bad night (4820)
• Favorite

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed

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  (828): i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed http://tfl.nu/hltv
  Replies (3) Good night (1476) Bad night (2255)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.

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  (401): Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face. http://tfl.nu/dfnt
  Replies (13) Good night (2459) Bad night (974)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin

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  (714): My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin http://tfl.nu/22om
  Replies (10) Good night (1939) Bad night (831)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.

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  (914): He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will. http://tfl.nu/096i
  Replies (8) Good night (2276) Bad night (631)
• Favorite

  (709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

  I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.

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  (709): I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking. http://tfl.nu/va6a
  Replies (2) Good night (1814) Bad night (783)
• Favorite

  (865): View more from Tennessee

  This is the high leading the old right now

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  (865): This is the high leading the old right now http://tfl.nu/zdtd
  Replies (1) Good night (1299) Bad night (695)
• Favorite

  (205): View more from Alabama

  I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.

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  (205): I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos. http://tfl.nu/nbvf
  Replies (13) Good night (1861) Bad night (716)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.

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  (914): I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there. http://tfl.nu/ryf1
  Replies (6) Good night (566) Bad night (979)
• Favorite

  (218): View more from Minnesota

  Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.

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  (218): Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else. http://tfl.nu/z0p4
  Replies (3) Good night (357) Bad night (782)
• Favorite

  (231): View more from Michigan

  My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".

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  (231): My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here". http://tfl.nu/5x82
  Replies (2) Good night (496) Bad night (209)

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