If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
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Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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