Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
