I cockslap morals
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
