Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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