my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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