Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
