You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
