someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
