we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
