I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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