I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Randomize
