Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
