I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
