Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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