Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
