What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
