I didn't shave. On purpose
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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