my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
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