Plan B is the new Plan A
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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