I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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