my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
