...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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